Ugly things

Have you ever thought of the things that you think are ugly? It's not always ugly from outside but from the inside. For me ugly things are, for example, fighting lovers or affair in marriage. They are ugly from inside. They hurt. A lot. Maybe some of it is necessary but it still is ugly. To me there is nothing more ugly than pain. Physical pain and hurting is nothing next to mental pain and hurting.

It tears you apart from the world. So don't be mean to people. You don't know what they are going through. Don't wish bad for anyone no matter what they did. It might happen and sadly you might blame yourself which hurts. A lot. Like many other things. Maybe they hurt you badly but I think you shouldn't hurt them. Pain is a hateful place. Don't go there. Don't push anyone there. Just take it with you when you go down.

I am sure you were once hurt. Maybe not just once or twice but I hope you let it go. It might not be my fault. Nor his. Nor her. Nor anyone's. But it might be easier to push the blame on someone. But don't do it.

When I am hurt. Even a little. I go the near forest. To my pain tree. He knows all my pain. I just sit down below it and think. In my mind I tell him all my worries and the horrible things that have happened. He listens. He is a good listener. Find you listener. Mum? Dad? Dog? A pillow? Something, someone, anything. Tell it to them. It will ease up. If you want to play it tough 'till the end, it will just hurt like hell and at some point you will be carrying way too heavy load. Grab the extended hand, grab the helping hand. Destroy the load. Make it easier to wake up next morning.

Tattoo!

Hi guys! One short update post coming up!

So this week I finally got my first tattoo. Yay!! I started small. Got this cute Hebrew text on my bicep. And I thought I would tell you all about the progress and such.

Think about size. 

Big or small?

1. Think about what do you want. I had to really think about what I wanted. For me personally it took about three years. Yes, I know that seems really long time but you have to think what do you want to take with you when you die. Because you know the saying: " You can't take anything with you once you leave this world." But I personally think that tattoos are one of the few things that you can take six feet under, if you get my flow. So think, think and think. And please don't look your tattoo up from Google or something because then it won't unique. Put some thought into it.

Think about colors.

You can add the colors later on.

2. Find the right tattoo artist. Don't just go to a shop without looking up other options. Look through their portfolio and valuate their handy work. Don't just call the shop, visit it because only then you will know if the shop is clean and safe. Well of course you can never really know but you will feel it if they are pros or no's!

Make it your style.

Think about the design.

3. Pick the right time. Not just before you go to a resort with your family to some tropical country. No! Pick a time when your tattoo can take its time to heal. Everyone's healing progress is personal so the time it takes to heal depends completely on you. Of course sometimes it can be difficult to match the tattoo artist's and your timetable but hang in there.

Where?

Think about the location.

4. Get the agreed appointment and don't cancel. It won't get any easier or less stressful even though you move it further away. So just do it. Don't run away from something your want and don't it if you don't want it.

Many times!!

Check spelling many times.

5. Enjoy. It can be difficult so sit on a chair waiting for your tattoo be done but you have to hold onto your trousers and sit still. For some it hurts and for some it doesn't. Me, for example, it didn't hurt at all. My only problem was that my hand was getting numb but otherwise I had no problems at all. For me it was like little electric shocks and after it was done it felt like it was burning. But nothing you can't endure with a little bit of willpower.

Think about the artist

6. Take care of your tattoo. Love it.

Electronics

Have you ever fought with some kind of gadget so long that you just wanted to throw it out of the window? Well I have. And it was really hard to resist the temptation of throwing it. I literally wanted to crush it. If I just had a hammer or something these little gadgets would be in so little pieces that you wouldn't even be able to guess what it once was!!!

Luckily we have anger management or whatever!

Have you tried..?

Long time no see. Damn. Even saying that is a lie. There has been so long gap between these things that I am really amazed if you still kept up with it.

Have you ever tried blocking the whole world? With your eyes? With your ears?

Try seeing with the eyes of a child's

Close your eyes wherever you are, don't get stupid and do it while driving or something. Close eyes while sitting on a metro. Close your eyes while waiting for the red light to change to green. Close your eyes while sitting in class. Close your eyes while singing a lullaby to your kid. That way you will really hear things around you. You will hear the birds sing. You will hear people talking about stupid things. You will hear the couple across the street whispering something. You will hear the leaves moving. You will hear someone's pencil hitting the floor. You will hear your own heartbeat. You will hear your own rhythm. You will hear so many things. All you need to do is to listen to the sounds. You don't need trick or treat to sharpen up your senses. All you need to do is focus and close your eyes.

Listen to the world

Block your ears with your hands. Make it so that you can't hear a thing. Make it so that you hear silence. You will see things that you have never noticed before. There is M love R engraved into a tree next to the buss stop. There are owls in your boss's pen that they always use. There are someone's sneakers hanging in the staircase. There is an old letter from your grandma under your bed. There is a smile on the of the girl who you always meet in the coffee shop where you always get your coffee in the morning. But you never noticed. Not until now. Now you can imagine their love. Now you know more about your boss. Maybe those were your old sneakers which you lost a long time ago. Now you will finally understand why grandma has been so angry with you. Now you are able to smile back.

Being simple can be wonderful. Being casual can be beautiful. Being here is a wonder.

The world is wonderful. But we need to see and hear the wonders. We need to open our senses. We need to stop. We need to take a one minute, just one, to notice these things. Maybe they are meaningless now but what if that girl is the one. What if your grandma has little time left. What if the pencil you lifted for someone is the uniting point. What if we just smile and enjoy ourselves. In this busy and dark world, where everything is bad and stressful, there is still light and happiness.

Forward

I just watched the film named The Painted Veil. The movie tells about a woman whose name is Kitty. Kitty gets married with man named Walter Fane even though she just met him. Their marriage isn't the happiest kind but they still carry on. Kitty and Walter move to Shanghai from London and soon after moving to Shanghai they move to small village deep in China. In this village Walter, as a doctor, tries to take control of the cholera epidemic. Kitty and Walter aren't really happy and Kitty is doing her best to make the marriage work. Walter has lost his confidence in Kitty because she cheated on Walter with man named Charlie. Even though Kitty was madly in love with Charlie he just ignored her when she said that she wanted to divorce Walter and marry Charlie. Tough luck, or maybe not. During their time in the village Kitty and Walter fall in love, for real this time. And then Kitty finds out that she is pregnant, both of them are really happy about it. When Kitty told Walter about her pregnancy Kitty seemed little upset and worried, there wasn't any clear explanation for it but I believe it had something to do with the father of the child. Soon the neighbor village ditch their village and attack the village for no reason at all. Okay there was a reason but they were infected by the cholera. Walter keeps the outside villager in a refugee camp just outside the village. Trying save the refugees Walter get infected, and next morning he dies in his lovely wife's caring care.

The movie ends with the great scene where we see the child of Kitty and Walter who has turned five. We also hear that Kitty has named their child Walter, how ironic. We also see how Kitty shows Charlie that she doesn't give damn about him anymore and Charlie still thinks that he has a chance. No way, playboy.

I didn't tell you about this movie just because it had a great ending but because it had a message within. When someone is bullying and teasing you don't notice them. Just let them say what they want and carry on because how can they tell things about you. They don't know you. How could they know you?! They don't bother knowing you they just tease you all day and then they notice:
"Damn. S/He didn't even see me." They will notice that you can see right through them and they will stop. Remember the thing is not to say anything or do anything just let them be. I know it is hard but you can do it. I.... We believe in you. 

Lost

When I heard you were dead

I couldn't even cry

too darn shocked

Guess I didn't expect 

someone as strong as

you

to just 

leave

like that

Now, if only

I'd had some strength myself

Bit of courage too

then maybe

just maybe

I could have shared some with you.

You know

Sometimes I see you in the street

Or think I see you

They often look like you

You should see them

See all your faces everywhere

Your strong back

And in your funeral

Our mother

Must have taken some mass of willpower

to even walk up there and tell them

about the man you were

Your father 

Said he couldn't stand being at the funeral,

but showed up anyway

Looked older than our grandfather that day

 And your little bro, my big bro, he did well

Carrying you down the aisle

Even thought he couldn't see a thing

If a man could drown in tears...

Made our mother sob

A mother crying for her passed son, 

that's not anything anyone should ever have to hear

I don't get it

I don't get it at all

How your skinny little brother didn't buckle

halfway down that aisle

Never seen anyone age quite that fast

Wonder how it must have felt

Don't think I have ever seen it rain so much

Don't worry, though

I will tell him

We all will tell him

Tell your lil' bro not to sink quite as deep

into the ground as you just yet

We will take care of him

We will try

It's up to him

Though

If it were to happen that the lil' boy 

would think of the same way out you did

THIS TIME

we will get there in time

So if it is not too much to ask, please

Please rest 

in peace

We have got you covered

We will tell your bro for you

If he has got time for thoughts like yours,

he might as well do everything he dreamed of first

got nothing to lose

And when he tries all those things,

like you didn't,

he's gonna realize that life

isn't really

all that

bad.

One way or the other

it really is

going to be okay.

We miss you bro, I miss you.

This is to all to those people who have lost their loved ones when they have chosen the blue sky. I know that there isn't one single person who has been forgotten. I am sure that we miss them and remember them in our hearts. Remember it is okay to cry but don't fall into the deep grief, because it is really long way back up. Maybe we will see them one day, but not yet, not just yet. They are not alone but neither are we.

London part2?

Hi guys! Sorry again for the long time not writing to you guys. Let's get started!

The Piccadilly statue?

So on our second day in London we went shopping in Piccadilly area! Great fun! If you want to do some shopping, in Piccadilly finding shops won't be a problem even if you are blind. After running from shop to shop we were super hungry and decided to hit a tea house(?) I am not really sure if it can be called that but anyway... so we enjoyed our tea and headed to the next location.

Excuse my awful handwriting

Baker Street!!!! I, as a big fan of Sherlock Holmes, insisted that we would visit the Sherlock Holmes Museum. I wasn't disappointed at all. First when we arrived to the location we thought HELL NO!! Because of this

After talking about it we decided to stay in the line and wait. I don't know how many times I thought I would die really soon. Why? Because it was really hot and there wasn't much shadow where the line was. Clever me, I had thought in the morning that it would rain today so I had brought an umbrella with me. Actually it was really clever and I ended up carrying this lucky umbrella wherever we went no matter the weather. While we stood in the line I noticed the man and his son right before us and I remembered that these guys were the people who sat opposite of us in the tube on our way there. And the father soon noticed that as well and we ended up cracking up a conversation. We talked about how we both got lost on our way.

I will tell you this so that you don't have to walk around all over London to notice where you are. When you come out of the tube find out which exit are you taking. Because we didn't think about this we got lost. Well we found out that we weren't that lost afterward but I think we were lost enough. So we should have got out from west exit but we got out from south exit and well we all know what happens when you think you are somewhere you are not and you try to navigate from there. Not good! So think about where you exit, okay?

So when we got closer to the door this woman came over and asked people if they already had bought a tickets and we surely hadn't. Well I volunteered as a tribute to buy the tickets(if you know what I mean) actually I really wanted to get away from the hot sun. So I followed the instructions and found my way to the counter. But on my way to the counter I finally understood how different world was then. This shop, where you have to buy the tickets, was really nicely decorated with Sherlock Holmes- spirited stuff. I was in heaven. I couldn't wait to get to the museum.

If you have read them you know

Smoke and be happy

After waiting we finally got in. It was gorgeous. I really don't have words to describe the feeling. It just was awesome, beautiful and glorious at the same time.

After the museum we went to Madame Tussauds, that might sound weird, which is a wax museum. In Madame Tussauds you can take pictures with celebrities. Just kidding! But it really looks like them. The are these wax model that present celebrities. I sincerely recommend this place if you just find time while you are visiting London. The celebrities change once in a while so that means that the celebrities I saw might not be there when you go. Don't blame me, please.

Thank you for making it fun!

I just had to.

In Madame Tussauds there was this great 4D film- thingy. I don't really know what its called, sorry for my lack of knowledge. I don't want to ruin the surprise if you go so I won't tell anymore about that. But I can't say that my friend was really scared from time to time. I want to point out that Madame Tussauds if okay for children as well so mums and dads out there no worries, okay?

After Madame Tussauds we went for a walk in Regent's park or something like that. It was really close to Madame Tussauds. Actually the Sherlock Holmes Museum and Madame Tussauds and this park were all really close. Oh how could I forget something this important to all the Beatles fans. I didn't find the right place to put this so I will just put it right here. The Beatles shop is right next to the Sherlock Holmes museum. The Beatles shop is full of the Beatles stuff you can't get almost everything that has the Beatles boys on it from there. So you all the Beatles fans out there run for it. My Beatles fan friend was really tough opponent when I was trying to get her out of there. But with willpower everything is possible, right?

What can I say?

We enjoyed our laugh on the tube when getting back to the hotel and got some other people laughing as well because we were laughing. I think laughing is infectious. Watch out for it. During this long day many people came over and asked if we were Spanish. They said that we were loud enough and our language was like singing or that's what they said. I do agree that we are loud but like singing.... I don't think so. This day there were also many funny things that happened but I will spare them for the funny things in London- list. And I am sorry that the dates are on the pics but I think you can handle it.  See ya.